Acknowledgment

Admitting to yourself that you're in pain is often pretty difficult, but as with any kind of problem, it's a necessary step. But admitting it is one thing. Letting yourself feel the full extent of acknowledging it is much harder.

Time to feel bad

Set aside a good contiguous block of alone time to just let yourself feel bad. It's so easy to avoid this by keeping yourself busy - and who actually wanst to feel bad? Nonetheless make some time, perhaps on the weekend, during the day so afterwards you can walk outside into the sunlight. Keep a text editor or paper and pen nearby to write down what comes to the surface. Don't try to analyze it - just braindump. It helps when you're ready to introspect.

Cry

Let the emotional pain surface and manifest in salty tears. Why does it feel like some of the pain has left when the tears are wiped away? I'm sure there is some neurobio explanation that I'd like to know. Don't conflate feeling sad with weakness, cause it's not. Cry for a weekend. Perhaps even a screaming tantrum.

Mourn

Make sure what you're mourning is the relationship, though, and not the person - don't conflate the two in your mind.

Reflect and introspect

When combined with Rest, you may achieve a state of mind more conducive to letting emotions slowly surface. Let yourself feel those surfacing emotions (sadness, regret, pain, heartbreak, etc.) in the present and try to understand them. Look at everything inside, issues etc. and take time to address them. Perhaps express your thoughts in a journal or blog. You will hopefully feel so much more of a whole person afterwards. And if you're lucky, you'll have learned something (or maybe a lot) to make your next relationship much better. Soft spots for loved exes are ok. Sometimes that's a key part of achieving longterm closure.

Acceptance

As much as it's humanly possible, get into the mindset as soon as possible that it really is over.

Choose one reason

Whether they cheated, or you hated something about them (e.g. their voice), or you were both "tops", whatever and just accept it. As long as you are unsure of what it is, it will just sit there and fester. Once you have chosen the reason do not dwell too much on it. Use it to reflect/introspect but take power over it and own it. Half of moving on is knowing what you are moving on from. All of those reasons you know you need to address to better yourself, you still need to address those, fix them etc.

Confide in friends

Sometimes admitting to friends how you are feeling can help you acknowledge your own feelings to yourself. Sometimes friends can help you figure out your own feelings.

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